Sometimes I Wrestle

Sometimes I pace when I pray. Ahhh! Uhhh! And all sorts of other groaning that the Holy Spirit has to interpret. But compared to Jacob, I have it pretty easy.

Just read Genesis 32-33!

Jacob had tricked his brother over 20 years ago, and now God told him to come home. So he sent a message to Esau. Oh hey, brother, I happen to be in the area, and just wanted to see if, you know…we’re cool.

The messenger came back, “Esau’s coming with 400 men.”

Jacob’s next words may not have been G-rated. But then he started to pray. Oh no, God, oh no! Esau. Mad. Very mad still. And I can’t get out of this one. So God, You brought me back. Now what?

He sent on some presents…one after another after another for Esau’s wrath to break over like waves. Then Jacob divided his family by favorites, with the concubines in front, Leah next, and Rachel with Joseph at the back. And he sent them away, and was all by himself.

And he wrestled with God. And would not let go until he had been blessed. And God touched his hip, but gave him a blessing. Why the hip? Maybe so he would never forget, strength comes from God. And no more running away. Time to face Esau.

And then Esau ran with open arms. Bro! I’ve missed you! You’ve been gone so long. Of course we’re cool! Are these all your kids? Hey, nice! What was with the presents?

Jacob was a little flabbergasted, I think. Wow, we are good. No, no, it’s okay, me and my family can travel by ourselves. We’d just slow you down. Yeah, good to see you, too. Yeah we’ll have to catch up. Okay, cool, goodbye.

Never underestimate what God can do. But sometimes it takes a night of wrestling to get there. The deepest, darkest inky night of fighting and striving, and then the dawn. So do not give up, do not stop praying, and never stop being amazed that God will get down and fight with you to help you make the dawn. Who is in control? He wants the good to win, so He will help you fight for it.

God, thank You for wrestling with me, confronting what is wrong and challenging me to change. You do that even though You are God, and I am so often a worrying, frustrated, crying child. Thank You for bringing me through, fighting with me, to see the dawn. Thank You. To You be the glory of the day. Amen.




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