Running and stumbling…

I end the day restless. I woke up late this morning, ran to work, ran around to get stuff done, ran home to run around having fun, and now I’m still itching for something. Tomorrow is another work day, and so is Friday. Saturday is not, but soon it’s Sunday, and then Monday pops up again with a cheery alarm too early in the morning. I want to have meaning woven through my day. I feel like it is a common feeling among humanity. Now wouldn’t it be hard to be Isaiah? He sees the hard stuff coming. Isaiah 29-30 is a mixture of frustration and longing. It is sitting on the edge of a couch during a horror movie as the hapless protagonist walks directly towards the black doorway.

“And the Lord said:
“Because this people draw near with their mouth
    and honor me with their lips,
    while their hearts are far from me,
and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men,
14 therefore, behold, I will again
    do wonderful things with this people,
    with wonder upon wonder;
and the wisdom of their wise men shall perish,
    and the discernment of their discerning men shall be hidden.”

What words do we say with our lives? What relationship do we have with God, rather than with the people we want to impress?

“15 Ah, you who hide deep from the Lord your counsel,
    whose deeds are in the dark,
    and who say, “Who sees us? Who knows us?”
16 You turn things upside down!
Shall the potter be regarded as the clay,
that the thing made should say of its maker,
    “He did not make me”;
or the thing formed say of him who formed it,
    “He has no understanding”?

How is God intentionally a piece of my life?

And then that bittersweet violin sweeps through the garden…life!

“In that day the deaf shall hear
    the words of a book,
and out of their gloom and darkness
    the eyes of the blind shall see.
19 The meek shall obtain fresh joy in the Lord,
    and the poor among mankind shall exult in the Holy One of Israel.”

“…they will sanctify the Holy One of Jacob
    and will stand in awe of the God of Israel.”

But first, God would put them under siege. The wisdom of men would perish. They would be cracked, worn, dried-up, gathering dust, crumbling, old.

We run after our pet projects, our plans printed in triplicate, and why does God have a problem with them? The worst is when we cover our ears and deny ourselves the ability to hear.

“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,
“In returning[c] and rest you shall be saved;
    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”
But you were unwilling,”

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
    and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
    blessed are all those who wait for him.”

19 For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. 20 And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. 21 And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. 22 Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, “Be gone!”

Teacher, Father running to us, friend with joyful tears in His eyes. So loving. Forgive yourself, and begin again to listen. All you have to do is turn.

Oh God, please help me to turn to You, stop running, stop and listen. Thank You. Amen.


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